How to distract a 2-year-old (to avoid an emotional meltdown)
Information technology'south 1 of the secrets of positive parenting: Prevent or better bad moods by steering kids away from triggering situations and conflicts. Only how do you actually exercise it? How do you distract a 2-twelvemonth-old who is in danger of melting down?
The immediate goal is to get your child engaged in a pleasant activity. Merely it isn't always easy to get kids to cooperate. And yous also want to work towards an boosted, long-range goal. You desire to aid your child build stronger self-regulation skills, so your kid volition exist meliorate at handling life'southward little emotional challenges…even when y'all aren't around to do the steering.
Happily for us, developmental psychologists accept been working on this problem, and we tin can acquire a lot from their discoveries. Let'due south take a expect at a recent experiment on two-year-olds, and meet how we can employ its lessons to our everyday lives.
How toddlers reply to the frustration of waiting
Picture this.
Y'all and your child visit a strange, new place — a psychology lab — and you are chop-chop ushered into a pocket-size room with some toys to play with. A researcher says she is going to leave yous and your child here for a few minutes. She instructs you lot to play with your child until she comes back.
After a brief interval, the researcher returns. She brings 2 boosted toys into the room, and for a couple of minutes, she and your child play together.
So far, then good, right? Your child might experience a bit unsettled by the new environment and stranger. But the stranger is friendly, and, overall, your child is having a pretty enjoyable time.
Here comes the hard part.
The researcher stops playing, and shows your child an especially interesting-looking item – an enticingly-wrapped gift, or a tasty care for. Your child wants this item. Of course. Simply your kid isn't allowed to have information technology. Not at present. The researcher places it on a loftier, out-of-reach shelf, and then she points to a light in the room – a lite glowing ruddy. She explains to your kid:
"I'm going to leave once again, and while I'g gone, this calorie-free volition stay carmine. Simply when I come up back, the calorie-free will plow green, and I will give you the prize."
The researcher instructs you, the parent, to remain every bit passive as possible. Avoid interacting with your kid. And then the researcher exits, locking the door behind her.
You and your child are alone in the room. The toys are yet there. But your child knows about the exciting prize on that high shelf.
Chances are, this isn't a scenario you want to experience. In fact, it was designed past Johanna Schoppmann and her colleagues as a way to deliberately annoy little kids. Their goal was to find out how toddlers would respond to this frustrating state of affairs, and, equally you might estimate, the reply was "non well."
When Schoppmann's squad tested this scenario on 96 two-twelvemonth-olds, the kids weren't happy. They'd been having a pretty nice time earlier, when they were playing with those toys. But now that there was a forbidden prize beckoning to them? The kids were left to expect for merely iii minutes, and at the end they received the promised reward. Merely during the expect their emotions had deteriorated pretty dramatically. There was crying, whining, screaming, and other forms of acting out.
So Schoppmann and her colleagues at present had a baseline of how each kid reacted to the frustration of waiting. This would provide them with a benchmark they could employ to mensurate any time to come improvements. And that's where the next phase of the experiment was headed. Was there a tactic researchers could use to help kids improve their ability to self-regulate negative emotions?
From previous research, Schoppmann's team knew that young children are capable of distracting themselves from frustration and anger past engaging in play. Indeed, some kids had handled the waiting scenario ameliorate than others…precisely because they had focused on playing with toys. And so the researchers wondered if they could teach this life skill, and they had a hunch about how to exercise information technology. Show and tell!
An experimental test of the power of office models
Schoppmann and her colleagues randomly assigned children to different experimental weather condition.
Some of the kids were assigned to a control group. These children played a game with the researcher — a game that didn't teach kids about coping with negative emotions.
And the residual of the kids? They experienced something different — a kind of tutorial in self-regulation. It unfolded similar this:
The researcher unveiled an unusual new toy, and confided to the child that she, the researcher, really wanted this toy. Simply she couldn't take information technology at present. She must wait until the light turns green.
Adjacent, the researcher began to play with a different toy to distract herself. Three times, over the next 3 minutes, the researcher commented out loud well-nigh her feelings. She would repeat that she didn't like having to await, but playing helped. "I feel fine while I'thousand playing."
At the end of the three infinitesimal waiting period, the researcher turned the light dark-green, and took possession of the coveted toy. She played with it briefly, and then hammered home the cardinal message one last time. "I disliked waiting, but felt fine while I was playing."
What would toddlers have away from this fiddling drama? They had watched an adult admit to feeling displeasure near a expect. Only they'd also seen her demonstrate a coping strategy — keeping herself busy with play. And they'd heard her explicate the strategy four times. Would they learn from her example?
To notice out, Schoppmann and her colleagues administered a 2nd waiting exam. Once again, the children were shown a desirable souvenir or treat. One time again, it was placed out of reach, and the toddlers were told they would have to wait to receive it.
What happened next?
It depended on whether or not a child had previously seen the developed demonstrating and talking almost the distraction strategy. The kids who had observed this lesson spent more than time distracting themselves with play. And the more fourth dimension kids spent distracting themselves, the less often they displayed negative emotions during the await.
And then it worked. Two-year-olds learned from example. And this is news that every parent and early babyhood caregiver can use. When toddlers are facing a frustrating wait, we can assistance them cope by demonstrating (and explaining) the distract-yourself-with-play strategy.
More reading
Are you looking for more information virtually immature children'south beliefs and self-regulation skills? See these Parenting Science manufactures:
"Positive parenting tips: Getting betters results with humour, empathy, and diplomacy"
"Emotion coaching: Helping kids cope with negative feelings"
"Teaching self-control: Bear witness-based tips"
References: How to distract a 2-year-old
Schoppmann J, Schneider Due south, Seehagen Southward. 2019. Wait and See: Observational Learning of Distraction every bit an Emotion Regulation Strategy in 22-Calendar month-Old Toddlers. J Abnorm Kid Psychol. 47(v):851-863.
Schoppmann J, Schneider S, Seehagen South. 2021. Tin can you teach me not to be angry? Relations betwixt temperament and the emotion regulation strategy distraction in ii‐year‐olds. Child Dev. 2022 Nov 17. doi: 10.1111/cdev.13682. Online ahead of print.
paradigm of frustrated toddler daughter covering her confront with her hands by Sasiistock / istock
Content of "How to distract a 2-year-old" concluding modified 12/2021
Source: https://parentingscience.com/how-to-distract-a-2-year-old-to-avoid-an-emotional-meltdown/
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